I’ve always remained fearful of fire

I am a skipper’s child. Ten days after my birth at the Academic Hospital in Utrecht, my mother and I were back on board. I had two older and two younger brothers. And two weeks after the liberation on 20 May 1945, my little sister was born. We all slept in the forcastle, in small sleeping bunks. I thought it was a nice life.

When the war broke out, we were in De Lemmer. At that age, I was supposed to go to the skipper’s boarding school, but it was closed. And so, my older brothers also came back aboard. As a result, I received very little education during the war. I have often regretted that later, because I would have liked to work in healthcare.

I still remember it well; in 1942 we sailed under armed German convoy across the IJsselmeer to Amsterdam. Us children were kept in the hold for safety. My father had been ordered by the occupiers to transport furniture from deported Jews to Germany. I remember he had a hard time with it, but if he hadn’t done it, we would have lost our ship and with it our livelihood.

In July 1943, we were in Hamburg when the city was heavily bombed by the Allies. It was horrific; we spent three days and nights in a bomb shelter. The whole city around us was an inferno, and our ship was destroyed by fire. It was terrifying. My mother was badly injured when one of the bomb shelter doors was torn off during the bombing and hit her leg! It’s a miracle we survived. I remained fearful of fire for the rest of my life. And whenever I see any violence on the television, I turn it off immediately!

After the bombing, we were taken by tugboat over the Elbe to a small village above Hamburg. We ended up with a farming family, where we slept in the barn for three days. Those people were incredibly kind to us! After that, we travelled by train from Hamburg to Gorinchem. It was an endless journey because the train regularly stopped for long periods. My father was born in Gorinchem. His parents still lived there, so there was a network to rely on now that we had lost our ship.

We eventually ended up in an empty house in Schelluinen, off which the male resident had gone into hiding, and his wife and child had moved in with family. We had nothing but the clothes on our backs. And there was nothing to be had! My mother had to scrounge everything together: household goods, clothes, everything. I had to start working quickly to provide, so we could bring some bread to the table. I worked for a farmer nearby: scrubbing milk cans and sweeping the stables. I was 14! No, I never had a childhood. My mother soon became ill, and as often happens… as the only girl in a household of men, I soon took over the entire household! There was nothing, you had nothing. You had to make do with nothing. But we managed! However, it was a miserable, impoverished time.